Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id BBB993FA2E for ; Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:20:43 +1100 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 32743-03 for ; Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:20:29 +1100 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 202.168.104.11 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=202.168.104.11; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=polyglot.com.au; Received: from polyglot.com.au (udsl-5-011.NSW.dft.com.au [202.168.104.11]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id B0C543FA21 for ; Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:20:24 +1100 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:24:06 +1100 Thread-Topic: Fathers Finding Time Reply-To: Message-ID: <1a68d01c5ed79$7b0e07f0$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcXteXsLUJkHO3RuSoS/raJ5OQ8V/g== From: To: Subject: Fathers Finding Time Date: Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:24:06 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_1A68E_01C5EDD5.AE7E7FF0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 20 Nov 2005 02:24:06.0143 (UTC) FILETIME=[7B1078F0:01C5ED79] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_1A68E_01C5EDD5.AE7E7FF0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 169 - 21st November 2005 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Welcome * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * Media Release * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Clive Hamilton in his new book, Affluenza =A9 2005, Allen & Unwin, tells the story of a Sydney banker. A Sydney merchant banker who worked very long hours was persuaded by his wife to take a day off work to spend some time with his teenage son David. David pined for his dad's attention, but he was always too busy. Nevertheless, the banker took a day off and they spent a magical day sailing. Although never repeated David stored it in his memory as the wonderful day he spent alone with his father. =20 A few years later the merchant banker died suddenly of a heart attack and David, now in his twenties, found his father's work diaries when going through his things. He opened one up to the date they went sailing. His father had written: 'Complete waste of a day'. =20 Such is the increased pressure to work long hours that many fathers find themselves turning down time with their children to put more time in at the office. Clive Hamilton goes on to say: Many Australians still see themselves as living in the land of the long weekend. But for most Australian workers having a sickie, knocking off for smoko and taking long lunches are things of the past. During the last twenty years there has been a gradual but relentless increase in working time in most organisations - so much so that Australians now work the longest hours in the developed world: 1855 hours a year compared with 1835 in the United States and an OECD average of 1643. Our first placing is even more noteworthy for the fact that Australia has the second-highest proportion of part-time employees (27 per cent) in the workforce, something that acts to drag down the average. =20 Only 28 per cent of employees work a standard week of between 35 and 40 hours. This is partly because of the growing importance of part-time and casual work but also because of the fact that 42 percent of men in full-time jobs work more than 45 hours a week (the equivalent of a nine-hour day), more than 30 percent work more than 50 hours a week (a ten-hour day) and nearly 15 per cent work more than 60 hours a week (a twelve-hour day). The proportion of men working these long hours has grown substantially in the past twenty years. =20 Part of a father's role is to be a provider, but he shouldn't be a slave. Margaret Fuller says, "Men for the sake of getting a living, forget to live". Senator Steve Fielding said in his maiden speech, "There seems to be a growing concern that many Australians are there to serve the market rather than the market being a tool to serve them, especially families and small businesses . . . Australians are not economic units, households are not harbours of consumption and children are not commodities". Many within parliament and media attacked Senator Fielding for his comments just as they had previously attacked Clive Hamilton. It is not wrong to work hard or work long hours for a particular reason, but when those extreme work habits are occurring every day of the week and extending to every day of the year; you know you have got a problem. Jesus said, 'What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?. We need to understand that in our modern world there is more than one form of poverty. As a community we suffer as much from poverty of relationships and poverty of time as much as others suffer financial and material poverty. This requires a set of values which go beyond our current materialistic mindset. =20 Lovework =20 Change don't come easy. Review your own work hours. Ask the hard questions. Are your work habits creating a poverty of relationships in your family? If so, change course now before it is too late. On another level the Fatherhood Foundation has some strong concerns about some aspects of the current IR Reform. We agree that some change is needed, but do we have to throw the baby out with the bathwater! Sundays and public holidays are important times to spend with our families and rejuvenate our spirits. Penalty rates, whilst an inconvenience for business, are a blessing for families in our time-poor world. The human pulse rate slows down once every seven days, why shouldn't we? =20 Please read our Media Release on this important subject, and if you agree please make your case known to your local federal member at www.aph.gov.au =20 =20 Yours for more family time Warwick Marsh ________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 29 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 24 years to 12 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 Men will spend their health getting wealth; then gladly pay all they have earned to get their health back. =20 Mike Murdoch =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter =20 A married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looked over at a nearby table and saw a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asked, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes", she replied. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable," the husband replied. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." Services will be held at 2:30pm Saturday at Forever Green Mortuary. ________________________________________________________ Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey". Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind I found one." back to top=20 =20 Single Dads =20 Another Dad Hangs Himself in the Same Courthouse that Denies him his Children =20 Could you please, please get this story out there! We desperately need to stop this from happening again. This is the second time in the same court. Now 2 kids don't have a dad, a mum, dad and family are left grieving. Just weeks ago a 16 year old young girl devastated by her parents divorce, suicided in her old family home see www.dadsindistress.asn.au Tony Millers Diary. The author is (our dids' solicitor). Contact details are below. This guy was an accountant, had a good job and was no dill. Hopelessness and Fatherlessness just caught up with him. He approached court staff for help and was apparently turned away. This has got to stop, we need your help.=20 =20 Tony Miller DIDS=20 1300 853437 dids@nor.com.au =20 www.dadsindistress.asn.au =20 =20 PS Please encourage your readers to post the story on to their local MP. =20 Dear Friends =20 An amazing couple of months has just past. For your information I have prepared this email in concern of a Family Law system that has been overloaded by new applications filings in the Family Law Court and Federal Magistrate Court. =20 There have been approximately 20,000 new applications filed in the last few months. The system is overloading and now there is a waiting list of up to 6 to 12 months on Interim Order Applications and up to 2 years on Final Order Applications in most registries. This waiting period is usually referred to as the period you don't get to see your kids. Sort of like Alienation by Default. No wonder they don?t recognise the syndrome part of 'Alienation' as they are the creators of it or at the very least allow it to occur.=20 =20 The reasons for such a large number of new filings in a short period are unknown to the everyday person including some of the system workers that include the family court itself. I believe it could be for number of reasons, they are as follows: =20 1. To avoid the use of Family Mediation Centres. Everybody is rushing to get their matter before the court, a bit like Boxing Day rush sales. The solicitors would be the cause of such a situation in most cases and this has been discussed in their Bar associations.=20 2. Knowing that the system is overloaded is another excuse to create status quo by refusing contact until orders are in placed. ie: 'he is not going to return the children' excuse.=20 3. People are trying to get in for a last ditched attempt to avoid the new changes.=20 4. Legal advantage of this occurring is greater for the resident parent. Unfortunately this is occurring right now. When is it going to stop. Who knows??? =20 The Casualties =20 I am ANGRY about this situation, believe me. I had friend, a MATE, in the Brisbane registry yesterday after attempting to file his documents and being informed it would take up to 10 months to see his kids. He simple went to the toilets at the registry and tied his tie to the sprinkler system and hung himself in hopelessness. He has two children Jacob 6yrs and Michael 10 yrs. Two children now left without a DAD due to a failing system. I spoke to his mother and family last night they are all upset beyond belief. =20 I don't know about you but a part of me dies when a mate dies in hopelessness. I am overwhelmed now in writing this email and well, have not much else to say,other then if you would like to say a prayer or maybe just consider my mate Andrew and his family in your thoughts that would be great. =20 Yours faithfully Shane Moy DIDS Legal Adviser=20 back to top=20 =20 Special Feature =20 "He Was a Good Man" Then when he had come and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; for he was a good man. Acts 11:23,24 =20 What memories do you have of your father? What legacy did he leave with you? One way to learn more about yourself is to think back on your father's character. I enjoy doing this because my dad had such an influence on the type of man I am today. My dad was a unique blend of no-nonsense and discipline with a subtle sense of humor. He was a quiet and private man. He didn't seem to need many words to get the job done. His countenance commanded respect. In fact, several boys had personality transformations when they graduated from the third-grade Sunday School class to my dad's fourth-grade class. Paper airplanes were grounded and eight boys sat up straight, listening dutifully to the lesson. I recall the easy chair that used to carry the shape of his exhausted form. It was as he read the evening paper that I usually planned my assault on him. I'm sure I nearly pestered my weary dad to death while asking him to play catch. "Hook" Rainey, they used to call him. The tall lefty got his nickname from his curve ball-a pitch so crooked it mystified batters. When he threw that patented knuckler, the entire front yard was filled with laughter-his and mine. I always loved to hear him laugh. Somehow it told me that everything was secure. When I was three or so, he went hunting in Colorado and "bagged" a fierce teddy bear. He staged the "action" on film and brought the "slain" beast back to me. My kids now play with that well-worn, 45-year-old black-and-white bear. I watched Dad look after the needs of his mother-he used to visit her three or four times a week. He modeled what it meant to honor one's parents. Most important, he taught me about character. He did what was right, even when no one was looking. I never heard him lie, and his eyes always demanded the same truth in return. The mental image of his character still fuels and energizes my life today. ________________________________________________________ Visit Dennis and Barbara Rainey at http://www.familylife.com/ . They have great resources and support for families. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. =20 Margaret Fuller =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Media Release Media Release =20 IR Reform Needs Reform - Family Time Needs Protection Don't Throw the Baby out with the Bathwater =20 The Fatherhood Foundation is concerned that families will suffer more under proposed work choice legislation for a number of different reasons. =20 Fatherlessness is costing Australia 13 billion dollars per year. Family breakdown is the single biggest contributor to fatherlessness. Fathers that are time-poor because of long hours at work are now likely to be forced to work on Sundays and public holidays just to keep a job for a family they won't be able to see. Fathers need time with their families. Marriages also suffer in time-poor families. Penalty rates on Sundays and public holidays help protect fathers' time with their wives and children. Any employer that wants to take a father away from his family on a Sunday or public holiday needs to pay a premium for that privilege. =20 Australian Fathers Work Longest Hours in the World (OECD) =20 The founder of the Fatherhood Foundation, Warwick Marsh says, "Australian fathers are working more hours than any other fathers in the developed world. The current IR Legislation is likely to see more fathers working longer hours on Sundays and public holidays as the full effect of the reforms take effect. Australian men are working 1855 hours per year compared with OECD average of 1643. Our first placing in hours worked in the developed world is even more frightening in the light of the fact that Australia has the second highest proportion of part time employees in the workforce. This high proportion of part time employees drags down our national average of hours worked per year. We are actually working longer than we think: 42% of men in full time jobs work more than 45 hours per week, 30% of men work more than 50 hours per week and 15% work more than 60 hours per week. The proportion of men working these long hours has grown substantially in the past twenty years." =20 Market Forces Reign Supreme - Family Relationships Expendable =20 There seems to be a growing view that fathers, mothers and children are economic units that will be rated only on their ability to serve the sacred theory of economic rationalism. Production is paramount. Fathers and family relationships are expendable if they do not serve the market forces 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For a government that proposes to fight for family values some parts of the current IR Legislation are much more likely to achieve the opposite effect. The human pulse rate slows down every seven days, why don't we do the same? Let's help families not hinder them. =20 Fathers need family time. Fathers, mothers and children need time together for rest and recreation. We call on the government to protect families and reform the IR reform, not throw the baby out with the bath water.! =20 For more information contact: Warwick Marsh - 0418 225 212 or 02 4272 6677 Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 Wollongong NSW 2520 www.fathersonline.org =20 info@fathersonline.org =20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 Fatherhood Foundation IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT =20 We call for our readers to contact the CEO of SBS Television and ask for a public apology for the appalling gender bias against men shown on last weeks Family Law Reform Program. Failing a public apology the Fatherhood Foundation. Lone Fathers and Dads in Distress call for the Men of Australia to vote with the chanel switcher. =20 Dudded Dad Wins OK for Compo Fight by Norrie Ross - Law Reporter - Herald Sun 19 Nov 05 http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,17291503%255E2 862,00.html =20 =20 A man who found he was supporting two children he had not fathered can continue his fight for compensation. =20 Liam Magill, 54, hugged his current partner after the High Court yesterday granted him special leave to appeal against a ruling that he was not entitled to compensation. During arguments in the case Justice Michael Kirby said the issues of parenthood were important in an age of DNA testing. =20 In March, the Victorian Court of Appeal stripped Mr Magill of a $70,000 County Court payout from his ex-wife, Meredith, on a legal technicality. =20 Mr Magill had said birth certificates shown to him by his ex-wife led him to believe he was the father of a daughter and son. =20 However, the appeal judges ruled the certificates only proved children had the surname Magill and his claim was legally too narrow. =20 Opposing a grant of special leave yesterday, Fiona McLeod SC, for Meredith Magill, said there was no evidence Mr Magill relied on the certificates. =20 But Justice Kirby said Mr Magill was a husband who had fathered another child to his ex-wife. =20 He had no grounds at the time to worry that he was the father of his other two children, the judge said. =20 In his lawsuit Mr Magill said DNA tests in 2000 showed two of his three children were fathered by his ex-wife's secret lover. =20 He said he had been deceived and suffered psychological and economic loss. =20 The High Court will hear the case in Canberra next year. Outside court Mr Magill's lawyer, Vivien Mavropoulos said the issue was very important for the community. =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I missed receiving the 13th Nov news letter. I hope there is not a problem. Being Mr Mom, I get inspiration from it when things become a tad demanding from my two young girls. Regards=20 Trevor Brown. =20 Editors Note: Please let us know if you ever miss a newsletter. Our system is undergoing some changes which of course can cause a few teething problems. =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I'm a trainee clinical psychologist studying at the University of East Anglia in the UK. I am currently carrying out some research on fathers. In particular, I'm interested in fathers who were present at their child's birth and it has been at least 3 months since their child was born. =20 Fathers, up until recently have been quite neglected in psychological research on parenting. I'm hoping to change this! However, I need a large number of participants for my research to make it valid and meaningful. To hopefully increase the numbers of people who are willing to participate I am carrying out the research on the internet. As I am a poor student I don't have money to pay for expensive adverts on websites so I am hoping to find websites that may be willing to place a small advert, or mention the research web address, for no charge. Alternatively, it would be helpful if I could use the chat forum to discuss my research in. In return, once the study is completed (hopefully by July 2006), I can offer feedback and information about the study. =20 The study has been given full ethical approval by the UEA ethics committee and is totally anonymous. All information given by participants will be encrypted so no one else can access this information. I do not need participants email addresses or names and they will be in no way identifiable to myself. Further information about the study itself is given=20 at the web address below. =20 I would be extremely grateful for any mention you can give to my research on your website. My research can be located at :=20 www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=3D675621318641=20 =20 If you have any further questions or queries about this please do not hesitate to contact me at: study200@hotmail.co.uk=20 =20 Kind regards, Catherine * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I have just read the article written by Geoff Holland in last week's Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter. It is purely " Brilliant... and very well done". =20 You are a credit to the cause. =20 Kind regards, Clive Purt. Western Australia. =20 =20 * * * * * * * * * * =20 Letters to the Editor Goulburn Post =20 Dear Editor Last week I read a letter in the Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter (www.fathersonline.org ) describing the courage of your Federal Member (Alby Schultz) in standing up for what he believes to be right - standing up for the "marginalised" against injustice. The letter described his speech - and ACTION! - of supporting a father who was 'shafted' by the 'system'. I am not a "single dad" but am aware of the plight of these men - and also of their children, who are crucified by the "system?. I am aware that change only comes when there are NUMBERS who can validate the "lone voice of courage" that dares to stand up - as he has done. There is a large constituency of hurting, "estranged" fathers out here that will give substance to his voice - and others, like myself who will add their voices in the interests of justice and restoration of "family" - even in cases where this presently appears impossible. If others support him on this issue, with a bit of "people pressure" on key politicians of all colours it will assist the process of change. =20 I congratulate him on his willingness to "make a difference" - for GOOD. In words from the letter:=20 =20 "Writing from a national and even international perspective, the people of Goulburn, irrespective of their political persuasion should stand up, salute and treasure such a rare entity - a fair dinkum politician that doesn't have his snout in the trough." Well done! =20 Geoff D=20 WA =20 * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 To Alby Schultz Member of the Australian Parliament =20 Dear Alby =20 My name is Michael Hickman I am an Englishman who was born and grew up in South Africa, I am presently in Auckland.=20 =20 Due to my children having been abducted to Germany ten years ago and my battle to gain access to them I have become well informed on the problems that fathers are experiencing world wide after separation or divorce. =20 Time and again the name Alby Schultz comes up, you should be given a medal or two for the great support you give fathers in Aussie. Furthermore you are a great inspiration to others around the world. =20 Well done mate. It is a real pity that there are not more real men in the world like you. =20 With my very best regards Michael www.michael-hickman.org =20 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Just letting you know that I have passed on my thanks to Alby for the time he has taken to fight for the important balance of fathers in the Family Law court. Alby took time out to pluck a single dad from his potential suicide and the man was not even in Alby's electorate. Goulburn should be well proud of Alby's commitment to fathers in this area. =20 With blessings, Steve Campbell Narrawallee NSW * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 The Hon. Alby Schultz, M.P =20 Member for Hume 15.11.05 =20 Dear Alby,=20 =20 Through our Prayer House Ministry at Gundaroo, for many years we have been praying for you and the politicians of the Government . . . Thank you for what you have done, and for standing as a man of integrity and values in the midst of great pressures. =20 I was so deeply touched in reading Warwick Marsh's recent story of when speaking on the phone to a desperate father, he discovered that you have helped this man to turn away from suicide, through your hearing his plight and caring enough to get justice for him in relation to his children. I appreciate so deeply your example of having a servant heart and commitment to help the people of this nation. =20 This issue of the high level of suicide in the men of this nation has troubled me deeply, and I have written to you previously asking for more work to be done to help these men. I feel humbled to read this story as I did not realize what you and your team were already doing and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your hard work and commitment in standing for righteousness, life and justice against the flow. You are an answer to the prayers of many I'm sure, being the mighty man of compassion and wisdom that you are, and I am proud that you are my Federal Member for the electorate of Hume, as we live in Gundaroo. =20 Thank you also for how have supported Warwick & Alison Marsh, and the Fatherhood Foundation, and Sexual Integrity Forum in their quest to see the men of this nation have a fair go, and families released from trouble. At these events I have seen that you have always faithfully supported and responded to these initiatives, at information times for the members of the Government in the Parliament, and every time you have taken time out of your busy schedule to stand and speak for families and Christian values for which I am deeply grateful. We will continue to pray for the Lord to bless you and to increase your influence, to help this nation reflect the values of Christ in our people. =20 Paul & Hilary Moroney Gundaroo =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 In response to Joella's comments about shaming men, =20 I think that Joella means that Fatherhood Foundation should recognise and avoid propagating the 'male deficiency' myth. The myth of male deficiency is central to gender separatist dogma, and fuels a lot of bias social policy decisions. For example I see the myth of male deficiency used to justify government refusal to fund men's health resources. =20 I also regularly detect the 'male deficiency' myth in professional literature that attempts to support the father?s role in the family. =20 Nevertheless, I acknowledge that the Fatherhood Foundation's attempt to improve the nations' father / family skills will necessarily expose potential deficiencies. This therefore will touch some raw nerves among those trying (and achieving) their best in a cultural climate that offers little support - and even substantial resistance. =20 The balance is what's important. =20 In support of Joella's concerns I WOULD like to see more articles that applaud the achievements of men - something rarely presented by popular culture. Perhaps you could consider a regular feature about the unique contribution that men make to children and the community (present and history) - and some focus on good examples of single or shared parenting by fathers.=20 =20 Of course a lot of this is up to your contributors, and I'm sure you could do with more of those. =20 Well done on your targeted magazine, adverts, and activism. Terry Dolling =20 =20 Editor's Note: Good point!Anyone want help us!.Could you help us by writing a couple articles? =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Firstly, thank you for a great and much needed service. I am a 26 year old father of two toddler boys in South Africa and I receive your newsletter every week. I try to be the best dad I can be and you have really opened up my eyes to a lot of things. =20 About Joella's comments: The idea that he is creating is that the fatherhood foundation is promoting a feeling that men is less that others/woman (these ideas of "less-thaness) and that they(men) should go out there and "claim/take" their territory, to be who we really are. In a lot of the writings of the Foundation I did read stuff that I already knew, however, I learned to look at things in a different way. It helped me to understand that in order for me to be the best dad and husband I can be, I have to be willing to give up (sacrifice) myself in love for the needs and well-being of my family. I believe if more fathers can start at that, the world will be a better place. I like the way in which the Fatherhood Foundation writers write their articles and it gets the message across that fathers are important. I believe that before men/fathers go out to claim their rights/position because they are important, it is more important to let the men/fathers first understand WHY they are important. Or else we will have men who are taking their places as dads and husbands but not knowing how to really live out that roles and end up losing it again. It is this that the Fatherhood Foundation has helped me to understand. WHY I am important as a father. =20 Thank you for a great service and I will be praying for you. God bless Theo * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Sites such as yours and the "men's network" by John King are not as suggested by such as Joella (letters 13-11-05) -denigrating the male- but are in very positive way offering to equip him to better perform as a man, from a position and foundation of real strength and moral fortitude . Rather than being dragged around or operating from a basis of confusion and doubt as has been happening for 30 years in increasing increments. Fathers are only now starting to be taken seriously in society.=20 =20 Nigel Port Macquarie =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer Dear God =20 Help me slow down and grab the moment. Help me not to work too hard, or too much,=20 especially if it means becoming poverty stricken in my relationships with my family. My children deserve better. Help me to give them the best. back to top=20 =20 About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! =20 =20 Mission Statement=20 The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. =20 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_1A68E_01C5EDD5.AE7E7FF0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 169 - 21st November 2005 Go to our website Here


Welcome

Clive Hamilton in his new book, Affluenza © 2005, Allen & Unwin, tells the story of a Sydney banker. A Sydney merchant banker who worked very long hours was persuaded by his wife to take a day off work to spend some time with his teenage son David. David pined for his dad's attention, but he was always too busy. Nevertheless, the banker took a day off and they spent a magical day sailing. Although never repeated David stored it in his memory as the wonderful day he spent alone with his father.

 

A few years later the merchant banker died suddenly of a heart attack and David, now in his twenties, found his father's work diaries when going through his things. He opened one up to the date they went sailing. His father had written: 'Complete waste of a day'.

 

Such is the increased pressure to work long hours that many fathers find themselves turning down time with their children to put more time in at the office. Clive Hamilton goes on to say: Many Australians still see themselves as living in the land of the long weekend. But for most Australian workers having a sickie, knocking off for smoko and taking long lunches are things of the past. During the last twenty years there has been a gradual but relentless increase in working time in most organisations - so much so that Australians now work the longest hours in the developed world: 1855 hours a year compared with 1835 in the United States and an OECD average of 1643. Our first placing is even more noteworthy for the fact that Australia has the second-highest proportion of part-time employees (27 per cent) in the workforce, something that acts to drag down the average.

 

Only 28 per cent of employees work a standard week of between 35 and 40 hours. This is partly because of the growing importance of part-time and casual work but also because of the fact that 42 percent of men in full-time jobs work more than 45 hours a week (the equivalent of a nine-hour day), more than 30 percent work more than 50 hours a week (a ten-hour day) and nearly 15 per cent work more than 60 hours a week (a twelve-hour day). The proportion of men working these long hours has grown substantially in the past twenty years.

 

Part of a father's role is to be a provider, but he shouldn't be a slave. Margaret Fuller says, "Men for the sake of getting a living, forget to live". Senator Steve Fielding said in his maiden speech, "There seems to be a growing concern that many Australians are there to serve the market rather than the market being a tool to serve them, especially families and small businesses . . . Australians are not economic units, households are not harbours of consumption and children are not commodities". Many within parliament and media attacked Senator Fielding for his comments just as they had previously attacked Clive Hamilton. It is not wrong to work hard or work long hours for a particular reason, but when those extreme work habits are occurring every day of the week and extending to every day of the year; you know you have got a problem. Jesus said, 'What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?. We need to understand that in our modern world there is more than one form of poverty. As a community we suffer as much from poverty of relationships and poverty of time as much as others suffer financial and material poverty. This requires a set of values which go beyond our current materialistic mindset.

 

Lovework

 

Change don't come easy. Review your own work hours. Ask the hard questions. Are your work habits creating a poverty of relationships in your family? If so, change course now before it is too late. On another level the Fatherhood Foundation has some strong concerns about some aspects of the current IR Reform. We agree that some change is needed, but do we have to throw the baby out with the bathwater! Sundays and public holidays are important times to spend with our families and rejuvenate our spirits. Penalty rates, whilst an inconvenience for business, are a blessing for families in our time-poor world. The human pulse rate slows down once every seven days, why shouldn't we?

 

Please read our Media Release on this important subject, and if you agree please make your case known to your local federal member at www.aph.gov.au  

 

Yours for more family time

Warwick Marsh

________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 29 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 24 years to 12 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

Men will spend their health getting wealth;

then gladly pay all they have earned

to get their health back.

 

Mike Murdoch

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Laughter


A married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looked over at a nearby table and saw a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asked, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now.  Do you know him?"

"Yes", she replied.  "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable," the husband replied.  "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

Services will be held at 2:30pm Saturday at Forever Green Mortuary.


________________________________________________________

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.  If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind I found one."

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Single Dads

Another Dad Hangs Himself in the Same Courthouse

that Denies him his Children

 

Could you please, please get this story out there! We desperately need to stop this from happening again. This is the second time in the same court. Now 2 kids don't have a dad, a mum, dad and family are left grieving. Just weeks ago a 16 year old young girl devastated by her parents divorce, suicided in her old family home see www.dadsindistress.asn.au  Tony Millers Diary. The author is (our dids' solicitor). Contact details are below. This guy was an accountant, had a good job and was no dill. Hopelessness and Fatherlessness just caught up with him. He approached court staff for help and was apparently turned away. This has got to stop, we need your help.

 

Tony Miller DIDS

1300 853437

dids@nor.com.au  

www.dadsindistress.asn.au

 

PS Please encourage your readers to post the story on to their local MP.

 

Dear Friends

 

An amazing couple of months has just past. For your information I have prepared this email in concern of a Family Law system that has been overloaded by new applications filings in the Family Law Court and Federal Magistrate Court.

 

There have been approximately 20,000 new applications filed in the last few months. The system is overloading and now there is a waiting list of up to 6 to 12 months on Interim Order Applications and up to 2 years on Final Order Applications in most registries. This waiting period is usually referred to as the period you don't get to see your kids. Sort of like Alienation by Default. No wonder they don?t recognise the syndrome part of 'Alienation' as they are the creators of it or at the very least allow it to occur.

 

The reasons for such a large number of new filings in a short period are unknown to the everyday person including some of the system workers that include the family court itself. I believe it could be for number of reasons, they are as follows:

 

1. To avoid the use of Family Mediation Centres. Everybody is rushing to get their matter before the court, a bit like Boxing Day rush sales. The solicitors would be the cause of such a situation in most cases and this has been discussed in their Bar associations.

2. Knowing that the system is overloaded is another excuse to create status quo by refusing contact until orders are in placed. ie: 'he is not going to return the children' excuse.

3. People are trying to get in for a last ditched attempt to avoid the new changes.

4. Legal advantage of this occurring is greater for the resident parent.

 

Unfortunately this is occurring right now. When is it going to stop. Who knows???

 

The Casualties

 

I am ANGRY about this situation, believe me. I had friend, a MATE, in the Brisbane registry yesterday after attempting to file his documents and being informed it would take up to 10 months to see his kids. He simple went to the toilets at the registry and tied his tie to the sprinkler system and hung himself in hopelessness. He has two children Jacob 6yrs and Michael 10 yrs. Two children now left without a DAD due to a failing system. I spoke to his mother and family last night they are all upset beyond belief.

 

I don't know about you but a part of me dies when a mate dies in hopelessness. I am overwhelmed now in writing this email and well, have not much else to say,other then if you would like to say a prayer or maybe just consider my mate Andrew and his family in your thoughts that would be great.

 

Yours faithfully

Shane Moy

DIDS Legal Adviser

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Special Feature

"He Was a Good Man"

Then when he had come and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; for he was a good man.
Acts 11:23,24

 

What memories do you have of your father? What legacy did he leave with you?

One way to learn more about yourself is to think back on your father's character. I enjoy doing this because my dad had such an influence on the type of man I am today.

My dad was a unique blend of no-nonsense and discipline with a subtle sense of humor. He was a quiet and private man. He didn't seem to need many words to get the job done.

His countenance commanded respect. In fact, several boys had personality transformations when they graduated from the third-grade Sunday School class to my dad's fourth-grade class. Paper airplanes were grounded and eight boys sat up straight, listening dutifully to the lesson.

I recall the easy chair that used to carry the shape of his exhausted form. It was as he read the evening paper that I usually planned my assault on him. I'm sure I nearly pestered my weary dad to death while asking him to play catch.

"Hook" Rainey, they used to call him. The tall lefty got his nickname from his curve ball-a pitch so crooked it mystified batters. When he threw that patented knuckler, the entire front yard was filled with laughter-his and mine. I always loved to hear him laugh. Somehow it told me that everything was secure.

When I was three or so, he went hunting in Colorado and "bagged" a fierce teddy bear. He staged the "action" on film and brought the "slain" beast back to me. My kids now play with that well-worn, 45-year-old black-and-white bear.

I watched Dad look after the needs of his mother-he used to visit her three or four times a week. He modeled what it meant to honor one's parents. Most important, he taught me about character. He did what was right, even when no one was looking. I never heard him lie, and his eyes always demanded the same truth in return. The mental image of his character still fuels and energizes my life today.

________________________________________________________

Visit Dennis and Barbara Rainey at http://www.familylife.com/ . They have great resources and support for families.

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Thought of the Week

Men for the sake of getting a living

forget to live.

 

Margaret Fuller

 

 

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Media Release

Media Release

 

IR Reform Needs Reform - Family Time Needs Protection

Don't Throw the Baby out with the Bathwater

 

The Fatherhood Foundation is concerned that families will suffer more under proposed work choice legislation for a number of different reasons.

 

Fatherlessness is costing Australia 13 billion dollars per year. Family breakdown is the single biggest contributor to fatherlessness. Fathers that are time-poor because of long hours at work are now likely to be forced to work on Sundays and public holidays just to keep a job for a family they won't be able to see. Fathers need time with their families. Marriages also suffer in time-poor families. Penalty rates on Sundays and public holidays help protect fathers' time with their wives and children. Any employer that wants to take a father away from his family on a Sunday or public holiday needs to pay a premium for that privilege.

 

Australian Fathers Work Longest Hours in the World (OECD)

 

The founder of the Fatherhood Foundation, Warwick Marsh says, "Australian fathers are working more hours than any other fathers in the developed world. The current IR Legislation is likely to see more fathers working longer hours on Sundays and public holidays as the full effect of the reforms take effect. Australian men are working 1855 hours per year compared with OECD average of 1643. Our first placing in hours worked in the developed world is even more frightening in the light of the fact that Australia has the second highest proportion of part time employees in the workforce. This high proportion of part time employees drags down our national average of hours worked per year. We are actually working longer than we think: 42% of men in full time jobs work more than 45 hours per week, 30% of me n work more than 50 hours per week and 15% work more than 60 hours per week. The proportion of men working these long hours has grown substantially in the past twenty years."

 

Market Forces Reign Supreme - Family Relationships Expendable

 

There seems to be a growing view that fathers, mothers and children are economic units that will be rated only on their ability to serve the sacred theory of economic rationalism. Production is paramount. Fathers and family relationships are expendable if they do not serve the market forces 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For a government that proposes to fight for family values some parts of the current IR Legislation are much more likely to achieve the opposite effect. The human pulse rate slows down every seven days, why don't we do the same? Let's help families not hinder them.

 

Fathers need family time. Fathers, mothers and children need time together for rest and recreation. We call on the government to protect families and reform the IR reform, not throw the baby out with the bath water.!

 

For more information contact:

Warwick Marsh - 0418 225 212 or 02 4272 6677

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

Wollongong NSW 2520

www.fathersonline.org

info@fathersonline.org  

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News & Info

Fatherhood Foundation

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

 

We call for our readers to contact the CEO of SBS Television and ask for a public apology for the appalling gender bias against men shown on last weeks Family Law Reform Program.

Failing a public apology the Fatherhood Foundation. Lone Fathers and Dads in Distress call for the Men of Australia to vote with the chanel switcher.

 

Dudded Dad Wins OK for Compo Fight

by Norrie Ross - Law Reporter - Herald Sun

19 Nov 05

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,17291503%255E2862,00.html  

 

A man who found he was supporting two children he had not fathered can continue his fight for compensation.

 

Liam Magill, 54, hugged his current partner after the High Court yesterday granted him special leave to appeal against a ruling that he was not entitled to compensation. During arguments in the case Justice Michael Kirby said the issues of parenthood were important in an age of DNA testing.

 

In March, the Victorian Court of Appeal stripped Mr Magill of a $70,000 County Court payout from his ex-wife, Meredith, on a legal technicality.

 

Mr Magill had said birth certificates shown to him by his ex-wife led him to believe he was the father of a daughter and son.

 

However, the appeal judges ruled the certificates only proved children had the surname Magill and his claim was legally too narrow.

 

Opposing a grant of special leave yesterday, Fiona McLeod SC, for Meredith Magill, said there was no evidence Mr Magill relied on the certificates.

 

But Justice Kirby said Mr Magill was a husband who had fathered another child to his ex-wife.

 

He had no grounds at the time to worry that he was the father of his other two children, the judge said.

 

In his lawsuit Mr Magill said DNA tests in 2000 showed two of his three children were fathered by his ex-wife's secret lover.

 

He said he had been deceived and suffered psychological and economic loss.

 

The High Court will hear the case in Canberra next year. Outside court Mr Magill's lawyer, Vivien Mavropoulos said the issue was very important for the community.

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I missed receiving the 13th Nov news letter. I hope there is not a problem. Being Mr Mom, I get inspiration from it when things become a tad demanding from my two young girls.

Regards

Trevor Brown.

 

Editors Note:  Please let us know if you ever miss a newsletter.  Our system is undergoing some changes which of course can cause a few teething problems.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I'm a trainee clinical psychologist studying at the University of East Anglia in the UK. I am currently carrying out some research on fathers. In particular, I'm interested in fathers who were present at their child's birth and it has been at least 3 months since their child was born.

 

Fathers, up until recently have been quite neglected in psychological research on parenting. I'm hoping to change this! However, I need a large number of participants for my research to make it valid and meaningful. To hopefully increase the numbers of people who are willing to participate I am carrying out the research on the internet. As I am a poor student I don't have money to pay for expensive adverts on websites so I am hoping to find websites that may be willing to place a small advert, or mention the research web address, for no charge. Alternatively, it would be helpful if I could use the chat forum to discuss my research in. In return, once the study is completed (hopefully by July 2006), I can offer feedback and information about the study.

 

The study has been given full ethical approval by the UEA ethics committee and is totally anonymous. All information given by participants will be encrypted so no one else can access this information. I do not need participants email addresses or names and they will be in no way identifiable to myself. Further information about the study itself is given

at the web address below.

 

I would be extremely grateful for any mention you can give to my research on your website. My research can be located at :

www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=675621318641

 

If you have any further questions or queries about this please do not hesitate to contact me at: study200@hotmail.co.uk

 

Kind regards,

Catherine

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I have just read the article written by Geoff Holland in last week's Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter.  It is purely " Brilliant... and very well done".

 

You are a credit to the cause.

 

Kind regards,

Clive Purt.

Western Australia.   

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters to the Editor

Goulburn Post

 

Dear Editor

Last week I read a letter in the Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter (www.fathersonline.org ) describing the courage of your Federal Member (Alby Schultz) in standing up for what he believes to be right - standing up for the "marginalised" against injustice. The letter described his speech - and ACTION! - of supporting a father who was 'shafted' by the 'system'.  I am not a "single dad" but am aware of the plight of these men - and also of their children, who are crucified by the "system?.  I am aware that change only comes when there are NUMBERS who can validate the "lone voice of courage" that dares to stand up - as he has done.  There is a large constituency of hurting, "estranged" fathers out her e that will give substance to his voice - and others, like myself who will add their voices in the interests of justice and restoration of "family" - even in cases where this presently appears impossible.   If others support him on this issue, with a bit of "people pressure" on key politicians of all colours it will assist the process of change.

 

I congratulate him on his willingness to "make a difference" - for GOOD.   In words from the letter:

 

"Writing from a national and even international perspective, the people of Goulburn, irrespective of their political persuasion should stand up, salute and treasure such a rare entity - a fair dinkum politician that doesn't have his snout in the trough."

Well done!

 

Geoff D

WA

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

To Alby Schultz

Member of the Australian Parliament

 

Dear Alby

 

My name is Michael Hickman I am an Englishman who was born and grew up in South Africa, I am presently in Auckland.

 

Due to my children having been abducted to Germany ten years ago and my battle to gain access to them I have become well informed on the problems that fathers are experiencing world wide after separation or divorce.

 

Time and again the name Alby Schultz comes up, you should be given a medal or two for the great support you give fathers in Aussie. Furthermore you are a great inspiration to others around the world.

 

Well done mate. It is a real pity that there are not more real men in the world like you.

 

With my very best regards

Michael

 www.michael-hickman.org

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Just letting you know that I have passed on my thanks to Alby for the time he has taken to fight for the important balance of fathers in the Family Law court. Alby took time out to pluck a single dad from his potential suicide and the man was not even in Alby's electorate. Goulburn should be well proud of Alby's commitment to fathers in this area.

 

With blessings,

Steve Campbell

Narrawallee NSW

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The Hon. Alby Schultz, M.P                                           

Member for Hume                                                             

15.11.05

 

Dear Alby,

 

Through our Prayer House Ministry at Gundaroo, for many years we have been praying for you and the politicians of the Government . . . Thank you for what you have done, and for standing as a man of integrity and values in the midst of great pressures.

 

I was so deeply touched in reading Warwick Marsh's recent story of when speaking on the phone to a desperate father, he discovered that you have helped this man to turn away from suicide, through your hearing his plight and caring enough to get justice for him in relation to his children. I appreciate so deeply your example of having a servant heart and commitment to help the people of this nation.

 

This issue of the high level of suicide in the men of this nation has troubled me deeply, and I have written to you previously asking for more work to be done to help these men. I feel humbled to read this story as I did not realize what you and your team were already doing and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your hard work and commitment in standing for righteousness, life and justice against the flow. You are an answer to the prayers of many I'm sure, being the mighty man of compassion and wisdom that you are, and I am proud that you are my Federal Member for the electorate of Hume, as we live in Gundaroo.

 

Thank you also for how have supported Warwick & Alison Marsh, and the Fatherhood Foundation, and Sexual Integrity Forum in their quest to see the men of this nation have a fair go, and families released from trouble. At these events I have seen that you have always faithfully supported and responded  to these initiatives, at information times for the members of the Government in the Parliament, and every time you have taken time out of your busy schedule to stand and speak for families and Christian values for which I am deeply grateful.  We will continue to pray for the Lord to bless you and to increase your influence, to help this nation reflect the values of Christ in our people.

 

Paul & Hilary Moroney

Gundaroo

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

In response to Joella's comments about shaming men,

 

I think that Joella means that Fatherhood Foundation should recognise and avoid propagating the 'male deficiency' myth. The myth of male deficiency is central to gender separatist dogma, and fuels a lot of bias social policy decisions. For example I see the myth of male deficiency used to justify government refusal to fund men's health resources.

 

I also regularly detect the 'male deficiency' myth in professional literature that attempts to support the father?s role in the family.

 

Nevertheless, I acknowledge that the Fatherhood Foundation's attempt to improve the nations' father / family skills will necessarily expose potential deficiencies. This therefore will touch some raw nerves among those trying (and achieving) their best in a cultural climate that offers little support - and even substantial resistance.

 

The balance is what's important.

 

In support of Joella's concerns I WOULD like to see more articles that applaud the achievements of men - something rarely presented by popular culture. Perhaps you could consider a regular feature about the unique contribution that men make to children and the community (present and history) - and some focus on good examples of single or shared parenting by fathers.

 

Of course a lot of this is up to your contributors, and I'm sure you could do with more of those.

 

Well done on your targeted magazine, adverts, and activism.

Terry Dolling

 

 

Editor's Note: Good point!Anyone want help us!.Could you help us by writing a couple articles?

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Firstly, thank you for a great and much needed service. I am a 26 year old father of two toddler boys in South Africa and I receive your newsletter every week. I try to be the best dad I can be and you have really opened up my eyes to a lot of things.

 

About Joella's comments: The idea that he is creating is that the fatherhood foundation is promoting a feeling that men is less  that others/woman (these ideas of "less-thaness) and that they(men) should go out there and "claim/take" their territory, to be who we really are. In a lot of the writings of the Foundation I did read stuff that I already knew, however, I learned to look at things in a different way. It helped me to understand that in order for me to be the best dad and husband I can be, I have to be willing to give up (sacrifice) myself in love for the needs and well-being of my family. I believe if more fathers can start at that, the world will be a better place. I like the way in which the Fatherhood Foundation writers write their articles and it gets the message across that fathers are important. I believe that before men/ fathers go out to claim their rights/position because they are important, it is more important to let the men/fathers first understand WHY they are important. Or else we will have men who are taking their places as dads and husbands but not knowing how to really live out that roles and end up losing it again. It is this that the Fatherhood Foundation has helped me to understand. WHY I am important as a father.

 

Thank you for a great service and I will be praying for you.

God bless

Theo

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Sites such as yours and the "men's network" by  John King  are  not as suggested by  such as Joella (letters 13-11-05) -denigrating  the male- but are in very positive way offering to equip him to better perform as a man, from a position and foundation of real strength and moral  fortitude . Rather than being dragged around or operating from a basis of confusion and doubt as has been happening for 30 years in increasing increments. Fathers are only now starting to be taken seriously in society.

 

Nigel

Port Macquarie

 

 

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

 

Help me slow down and grab the moment.

Help me not to work too hard, or too much,

especially if it means becoming poverty stricken

in my relationships with my family.

My children deserve better.

Help me to give them the best.

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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